Maybe to Baby: How Cynthia Decided She Was Ready for Motherhood

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I’ve never understood this: Many women are eager to share their children’s birth stories (even the gory parts), but hardly anyone talks about when and how they came to the decision to make a baby in the first place. That’s why I’m thrilled to introduce my new recurring feature, Maybe to Baby.

Even if you grow up wanting to become a mom someday, you’re not automatically ready to birth babies as soon as you check into your honeymoon suite. In fact, I still don’t know when that moment will come for me, and I bet some of you are wondering if/when it’ll happen for you. So I’m hoping that learning when others realized they were ready to start a family will help us recognize when we’re coming to that conclusion, ourselves.

Thankfully, my friend Cynthia, who’s a mom to a little boy, agreed to candidly answer my prying questions on how it happened for her.

How old were you when you started trying for a baby?
29–a few months shy of 30

How long were you married at that point?
Six-and-a-half years

What changed in your life that moved you and your hubby from not ready to ready?
I moved my “target date” up a year after an older friend remarked, “Why are you waiting? It gets so scary as you get older.” That struck a chord with me.

How did you know the time was right to have a baby?
We finally felt like we were getting to a more financially stable place–we had built up some savings and established ourselves career-wise. Also, at times, things started to feel a little empty, like on holidays–it felt like something like was missing. Plus, we were over the bar and party scene a long time ago–we were already eating out at 6 p.m. with all the families!

Did you ever worry earlier in your marriage that you’d never feel ready?
Ha, yes. Even now, sometimes I worry, oh, should we have waited and saved more money?

What would you say to married women who are worried they’ll never be ready for babies?
If you know you want kids, you have to take the plunge sooner or later. It’s hard because you really have to have kids just as you’re hitting your stride, career-wise. My grandmother (a mother of five) bugged me for years about when we were going to have kids, and I would always tell her, “Grandma, we’re waiting until we have enough money,” to which she’d reply, “Well, you’ll be dead by then!”

Is it reassuring to hear that a mom was afraid she’d never be ready (it was for me!)? Anyone out there not sure when they’ll have kids?

More About Having Babies
Do Health Insurers Hate Married Childless People?
Promise to My Future Baby: I Won’t Send Out Photos of You Looking Like an Alien
Marriage First: Buying Clothes With a Baby Bump in Mind

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Photo by Catherine Scott

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  • Jeff Homan

    I only read this hoping that you were about to announce that YOU made the decision to have a baby.  So disappointed.  

  • Anonymous

    Well you will have to check my blog to find out if I’m expecting, so it’s good that you’re getting in the habit now. Why are you all up in my uterus anyway? I thought you hate that area.

  • Christine Meshanko

    I keep seeing my fiancee with our poochies and wanting us to have that much fun with a baby, who will talk to us more than the dogs do! We have enough money, but our issue is our age though I read once, having a baby is the same at 20, 30, 40 if you’re healthy every one says spooky things.

  • Meredith Bodgas

    Yes, seeing your guy interact with a puppy can definitely make you realize you want to make him a daddy! Having worked for pregnancy and parenting magazines/Web sites, I can tell you that there are PLENTY of 35-plus women who have healthy pregnancies, deliveries, and babies. And the fact that you take good care of yourself could make your body the same age as someone younger who isn’t as meticulous about her health. So exciting you want a baby, Christine!

  • Natasha S

    I would definitely like to see more of these stories. Personally, I THINK I want kids… but I am scared to take the plunge. I’d want to be married first (probably will happen in the next year to year and a half), but the idea scares me. I wish I was hit with that “OMG MUST HAVE BABY NOW” urge, but it hasn’t happened. I’m 26. I’ve set a target age of 29-30 to have a kid, but I am hoping that by then I will be more eager. My guy desperately wants kids… and he is older than I am so age is a consideration too. He’d make a wonderful father. I am not really sure what I’m afraid of, but I guess this is a huge decision!! If I were to accidentally get pregnant (not likely but it happens), I would look after the baby and love him/her.. it’s just getting to the decision that is the terrifying part.

  • Meredith Bodgas

    Yes, I’m hoping to feature women like Cynthia a few times a month, Natasha. And I know exactly what you mean and felt very similarly at 26. Now I’m more sure that I want to have kids, but I definitely haven’t gotten that “OK, NOW let’s try” feeling yet, but I’m getting nervous because I’m 29! I’m hoping these stories will show us all that it’s normal not to feel that must-make-babies-immediately urge in our 20s–and hey, maybe even in our early 30s!

    • Natasha S

      Glad I am not the only one, Meredith! Stories like this definitely help.

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