Maybe to Baby: Emily Knew the Time Is “Never 100% Right” for Having a Baby

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Emily was my first very close friend to get pregnant. I was in awe of the big decisions she made during this time. Here, she breaks them down.

How old were you when you started trying for a baby?
I was 27, and my husband was 29.

How long were you married at that point? 
About a year.

How did you go from not ready to ready? 
We had talked about it on and off for a while, even before we got married. I think one day we had a discussion and (happily) decided we would start trying once I made some doctor’s appointments. (I wanted to get on prenatal vitamins and talk to my neurologist about how pregnancy might affect my migraines.) It was kind of like, “Who knows what we’re getting ourselves into, but let’s go for it!”

Also, my husband was ready for a baby so that helped me be ready. Plus, several of my friends had already had babies so it didn’t seem crazy to get pregnant at 27. (I’m from the Midwest where women tend to have children earlier than their counterparts in New York and other big cities.)

How did you know the time was right to have a baby? 
I’m not sure the time is ever 100% right. But one of my best friends told me something that stuck with me—“If you wait for the perfect time, you’ll never have a baby!” Meaning, you could always have a bigger house, more money in the bank, a better work schedule, and so on. You’ll never have all your ducks completely in a row so you might as well take the plunge.

About halfway through 2009, we felt like we had a decent amount of savings and could provide a loving, happy home to a little one. And, to be honest, we wanted a baby to love! Part of me wanted the tiny onesies and the baby booties and the nursery and all that. You know, the fun stuff!

We didn’t get pregnant until June 2010. While it was frustrating to try for several months with no success, I’m actually thankful it worked out that way. We ended up moving from New York City to Indiana (my home state) in August 2010, and it would have been stressful to leave my job, plan the move and pack the apartment while also caring for a baby. I’m happy we were all settled in our new city when we had Astor on March 3, 2011.

What would you say to married women who are worried they’ll never be ready for babies? 
Give it time. As your friends start to have babies, it becomes less and less intimidating and more and more realistic. At least that’s how it was for me!

Do you think you’ll raise a family in your current location? (Paul and I will likely move to the suburbs of New York City.) Is your man more ready for a baby than you are?

More About Having Babies
The Best Before-a-Baby Advice I Never Got
Maybe to Baby: Lauren Realized She Was Less Not Ready for a Family
Maybe to Baby: How Cynthia Decided She Was Ready for Motherhood

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Photo by Catherine Scott

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