The 30th Birthday Party Couple Conundrum

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Though we’re (thankfully) several months away from turning 30, Paul and I have begun to think about how we’ll celebrate this milestone. But it’s unlikely we’ll get to do what many of our friends have done…

It seems almost everyone we know married someone born in a different calendar year from themselves. So the younger spouse threw a big ol’ birthday bash, with flowing drinks and platters of food, for the older spouse first; and the older spouses are now returning the favor for their (slightly) more youthful partners. It all works out quite well.

Paul isn’t even three whole months older than me, though. And we feel it’d be kind of obnoxious to force the exact same group of people to celebrate 30th birthdays for us within a single 90-day period. If we did each throw a party for the other person, our party-planning efforts might overlap–private party rooms in New York, especially the affordable ones, get booked up a few months ahead of time for a Saturday night.

True, we could do a single celebration sometime between July and October. But then it might not feel like a party for either of us since it’d be far enough from each of our birthdays. (I know, wah wah wah, poor us.) Luckily, Paul and I are pretty different people. I could see us casually gathering people to attend one of our favorite dive bars midweek on his actual birthday. And threeish months later, I might want to do a karaoke night to ring in my thirties.

All this is to say that not being the same age as the person you marry has its perks.

Would you prefer to be the exact same age as your spouse or have a year or more between your birth dates? Would you ever have a joint birthday party with your hubby?

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  • SARAH NEDBALSKI

    My guy and I are a whole whopping 10 days apart so it makes the joint thing pretty much a go because we can have a joint party and have it close to both our birthdays. 

    • http://twitter.com/mereditor Meredith Bodgas

      Aw, that’s so cute how close in age you are! Hope you have a great time at your party.

  • http://www.rachelwilkerson.com/ Rachel Wilkerson

    Ah, I never thought of something like this! My boyfriend and I are four months apart. 

    I think that if you do two completely different things (dive bar vs. blowout bash) people won’t mind showing up twice. It’s just a good excuse to party! If you were doing something similar and it was over the top (like a huge semi-formal party on a riverboat) people might roll their eyes. 

    • http://twitter.com/mereditor Meredith Bodgas

      I had never thought about it, either (until now, of course)! Totally agree that two big fancy-ish parties are out of the question. I kind of want to throw a kids’ bowling party for Paul, complete with bumpers and pizza in a back room, because he thought it’d be funny.

  • Alicia Grudzinskas

    My fiance and I are 6 years apart, but our birthdays are 3 calendar days apart (end of July and the beginning of August). So, regardless of the birthday, we end up celebrating together.

    • meredith

      I hope you two enjoy your joint birthday parties! (And if not, I hope you get one of your own soon!)

  • http://twitter.com/AussieStace Stay-C

    Me & my boyfriend have 30th birthdays this year – 8 days apart (or as I like to say “a week & a a day”) We’re considering on having a joint birthday celebration…it’s something a little bit different & it’s not every year you turn 30 ;)

  • Becky Corning

    What did you decide? Are you going to do a joint party?

    My husband and I both turn 40 this year, and I know what you mean! I usually think it’s kind of cool that we’re practically the same age (we’re four months apart), but in this instance, I don’t really like it. I’m not sure what we’re going to do as far as maybe doing a joint party. It kind of seems more fun for one person to be throwing the party for the other one. Like, if it was a joint party, would we put “Happy birthday Blair and Becky, you’re both so old!” on the cake? Maybe “Happy birthday to us!”? But on the other hand, it just seems like too much expense and too much work to throw two.

    • mereditor

      I’m so glad you could relate (even though I’m not glad that you’re facing the same quandary!). We decided to do separate parties–or at least Paul will have a party. If you do a joint party, I really like the idea of a cake that says Happy Birthday to Us!