For the first time ever, I’m going to a wedding that I wasn’t technically invited to. My sister got the invite, and since she’s not seeing anyone and I live a quick cab ride away from the venue, I’m coming along as her guest–which made me think of some things I wish plus-ones didn’t do at weddings.
Don’t show up without giving the couple a heads-up.
A guest invited with a plus-one can bring any person she pleases. But if you as a plus-one know the bride or groom, the couple would probably appreciate it if the invited guest got their blessing to bring you. It’ll likely be fine; still, they could’ve chosen not to invite you for a specific reason and would prefer that you didn’t attend. And you don’t want to go where you’re not welcome, do you?
Don’t dress too flashy.
Any attention-stealing outfit should be off-limits when you’re a wedding guest (only the bride gets to wear something that demands the spotlight). When you’re a plus-one, it’s even more important to blend in. Why? A short, tight, bright-red dress will make the bride wish your pal didn’t bring you along.
Don’t dominate the couple’s time.
With 100 or so guests and a limited amount of time to chat with them all, respect that you’re not the newlyweds’ priority. Say hello, thank them for having you, tell the bride she looks beautiful or that the ceremony was so sweet, and let them move on. You can find out where they’re going on their honeymoon or how he proposed from the person who invited you along…and actually knows them.
Don’t expect to be babysat all night.
The person who invites you should show you a good time. But she may leave your side for a few minutes–and that’s okay. Be able to entertain yourself for a bit instead of sticking to your friend like glue.
Don’t be a camera hog.
So many brides I know have way too many wedding pictures of people they hardly recognize. Those plus-ones, for some reason, felt the need to follow the wedding photographers around until they’d take a shot of them. Your life won’t change if you don’t appear in any of these people’s wedding pictures. But if a wedding photographer misses her chance to take photos of, say, the bride’s grandparents because she was too busy trying to appease you, that could upset the couple long after the wedding’s over.
Don’t do anything that takes the attention off the couple.
It’s tempting to do something a little crazy when the booze is flowing and you don’t know any of the other revelers. Resist. You grinding on the father of the bride shouldn’t be the most memorable part of the affair.
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