The Rudest Engagement Ring Comments EVER

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I’ve received backhanded compliments and straight-up aggressive remarks about my engagement ring. And it made me wonder if you all have, too. So I posted the question on Facebook and Twitter. I truly was hoping I wouldn’t get any responses because no one wants such a symbolic, important purchase criticized. Alas, I was barraged with replies. Here they are.

About a ring with a halo setting:
“It looks like a fat diamond popping out little baby diamonds.”

About a ring with a moissanite stone (instead of a more expensive diamond):
“The cost of it equals his lack of love for you.”

Upon seeing her friend’s ring for the first time:
“You could always trade up.”

After everyone told her that her great-niece’s ring was amazing:
“Oh, I’ve seen better. It’s nothing special.”

About my pal’s BEAUTIFUL ring:
“Is that the one you wanted?”

After seeing the ring in photos:
‎”It seemed like yours was bigger than mine in pictures. It’s definitely cute, though.”

About a friend’s double-band estate ring:
“How are you supposed to wear a band on the same hand as that?”

About a ring for a gal who doesn’t like a lot of bling:
“is that the engagement ring or just the wedding band?”

About a friend’s breathtaking ring:
“It makes you look like a trophy wife.”

About MY ring:
“It’d be nicer if you cleaned it more often.” (Fair enough, but why say that to me?!)

And here’s my favorite about my buddy’s ring, which may possibly be my favorite of all the ones I’ve ever seen:
“That’s exactly what I used to want my ring to look like. But now I want something more sophisticated.”

Can you believe that last one? Which remark do you think is the rudest? And what’s the worst thing you’ve ever heard about your gorgeous engagement ring?

More About Engagement
Would You Tell Your Straight Friend You Suspect Her Fiance Is Gay?
Should Men Wear Engagement Rings?
The One Thing You Shouldn’t Do Right After You Get Engaged

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  • Natasha S

    Wow. I guess some of these are due to jealousy while others maybe can be chalked up to the person just not thinking? This is a good post… we are looking at rings now and I suppose it is good to be prepared for bitchy remarks.

    • mereditor

      I can tell you that at least one of these was from a jealous not-yet-engaged person! So glad you like this post! And how exciting that you’re looking for rings! Fingers crossed that no one says anything this heinous to you.

      • Kelsey Taylor

        From what I recall about your other blog, you made enough rude comments about your own engagement ring for everyone. You constantly complained about how small it is and how thick it is and how you would have chose something else, if given the opportunity. If you ask me, that’s more heinous than anyone else commenting on your ring because that’s a direct insult to yourown fiance and his taste (not to mention, budget).

        Also, just a side note, not everyone that makes comments like this is jealous. Peoples taste just differs. And I find it hard to believe that anyone would EVER be jealous of you.

  • Isabelle Fallon

    People are so RUDE! Basic manners dictates that you admire the ring and leave it at that – even if you don’t like it, the wearer does, and she loves the man who gave it her, so why would you criticize? Jealousy does horrid things to people! I have seen rings I liked and ones I didn’t – but without exception, I admired them all because I would never belittle such an important symbol of my friend’s commitment.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=500796192 Stacy Caroline Breland

    When my fiance and I were looking at settings (we had a diamond already, a perfect 1/3 carat we inherited from his family), the jeweler tried to talk us into something more than just a simple setting (very similar to the picture on this post!) and when we wouldn’t be budged from our budget, he said “Oh well, maybe you can have it reset one day into something bigger.”  I wasn’t really offended because it’s sort of his job to upsell.  But I was encouraged by the woman who came over to us after the jeweler left us alone and told us not to go into debt over a ring, to buy what we could afford, because we’d treasure it no matter what it looked like.  She showed us her small, simple ring and said that she’d never dream of changing it!  :) Thought I’d offer some positive comments to counteract the negative!

    • MoMo3000

      THANK YOU! Reading your post made me feel less insecure about my own engagement ring. It’s hard for us women when society tells you how much you should weigh, how to look, how to breathe and even what your love should look like.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Meagan-Saunders/500765392 Meagan Saunders

    I posted a picture of my ring, which had to be sized, on Facebook. Somebody commented and said while I’m at it, I should resize/upgrade the diamond too. I instantly deleted it, and deleted that person from my friends list. My .31 Carat diamond is PERFECT for me, and obviously that person has no idea WTF they were talking about.

  • whitewolf

    My ring received nothing but compliments in person and in pictures. My fiancé had also become verbally abusive and controlling, so I gave back his ring and left him. I received this response about the breakup from a coworker: “Ohhh! Your beautiful ring…”

    If that doesn’t show that the ring’s appearance does not equate the quality of a relationship, I don’t know what does.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=930367 Alexandra Frydman

    I received a beautiful solitaire thats in an elegant band and a family friend of his said “oh thats the fashion nowadays…hmmm”

  • http://www.technoinsta.com/ Sanjib Saha

    Haha true! Peoply specially women find now other work except commenting on others ring, jewellery, dress up, make up and what not! Best thing to do is to Ignore and neglect rude comments and copliment the good ones :)

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/C4SWA4UIX44JXU45HL2YWW4VTU becky

    My mother told me this, in front of my fiance at the time: “You can always swap out the stone for the one in my old ring, I think mine is bigger”
    … the stone he got me was 1/2 carat, very good clarity, colorless, certified, and cost 1,800 just for the diamond.

  • Pingback: Comebacks for Awkward Wedding Announcement Comments | Groomsday

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=810839300 Shannon Ledger

    How about “Awww… did he get it to look like Kate Middleton’s?”
    My fiance didn’t even know who Kate Middleton WAS!

    • Ellissi Rings

      Same here. Who was Kate Middleton. But i agree i love Diamonds. and specially sapphire diamonds

  • Dianne Dever

    I did ask my friend if the ring she got was the ring she wanted, but her fiance wanted her to give him 3 ring choices and he loved her least favorite choice but chose her favorite.

    My sister always compares our rings.  I have a 3 stone ring that equals a carat while she has one large stone that is about a carat, and she always comments on it.

  • Breccia

    the worst I’ve ever heard (or rather been told, as I wasn’t there) is the mother of a former beauty queen commenting on a young woman’s ring, “oh, how nice….for a starter ring.”

    • mereditor

      WOW! A starter ring? Nice lady.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000519232035 Ziva Goldman

    I’m not for the flashy stuff and only wanted a simple gold band when we got married. One of my sisters commented “Is that it?!?” to it’s simplicity. We had an issue with the engagement ring, so it was not on my finger during the actual ceremony. I now have a lovely marquis cut emerald surrounded by diamonds which I absolutely love and wouldn’t trade for anything!  When a friend became engaged, she got a lovely solitaire diamond. I made the horrible mistake of saying “Oh my, look how small it is!” It was not meant to be a snark on the diamond itself, but I was just taken aback by how skinny her fingers were and how small the actual ring was (probably a size 1)… the whole thing could have fit through my ring, a size 10. I apologized profusely, which may have made it worse! It truly was a beautiful ring and that’s all that matters!

     

  • summercolours

    My friend asked to see my ring, asked how much it costs, if it came with a cert. When I said it didn’t, she said maybe it’s costume jewelry. I was offended and one day told her how I felt. She then explained that she meant to ask if it was one of those designer jewelry, where the design matters more than the quality of the diamond. Whatever.

    • mereditor

      UG! And her backpedaling attempt was pretty lame, too.

  • jane

    An old tradition in my family is rubies instead of diamonds (a much older tradition than diamonds) and everyone keeps commenting no diamond means a messy divorce.
    Well there has never been a divorce in my family and I’m so happy to be marrying someone who respects my family.
    Seriously though. Who tells someone they will have a messy divorce at an engagement party.

    • http://twitter.com/mereditor Meredith Bodgas

      Only someone who’s insecure about her own marriage/marriage prospects or is totally stupid and insensitive would mention that anywhere, let alone at an engagement party. (I love that family tradition, by the way!)

  • Courtney

    I got engaged to my husband back in our very first year of college, back before anything was complicated and before we cared about what people thought. I proposed to him using the ring he gave me on Christmas (just a little claddagh ring) and I buried it in the snow and made him go on a scavenger hunt to find it and it lead him to the deck outside on of the college houses with the back being a slope covered in snow reading out the words “will you marry me” ..took me all morning with a couple of friends. Point was, I didn’t need a flipping ring to know he was the guy I wanted forever. No one believed we were engaged since I didn’t have a big rock so he bought me a huge white topaz ring (I didn’t like diamonds, and what 18 year old can buy those!?) and it was stunning. Then came the remarks: ”yeah like he afforded that thing’ and ‘where did he steal that from’ but then things started getting hurtful like ”guess you were too young and didn’t realize he didn’t want to marry you. Take the hint” and ”that thing isn’t even real.” The most hurtful though was from my own mother when she asked me if it was cubic zirconium. What the heck is wrong with white topaz?! I wanted a clear ring and this one shines a very pale ice blue color on a nice simple plane white gold ban. I don’t even bother wearing it anymore. I’ve only been married two years (we married 1 year after college). I stopped when the comments just turned to stares. Next to my diamond wedding band he got me it just looks subpar and people would always ask why I got a knock off instead of just going with a smaller nicer looking diamond. I hate people.

    • mereditor

      wow, as if the “how can he afford that” wasn’t bad enough they accused him of not wanting to marry you? the fact that he married you proves he wanted to marry you! people are stupid and mean.

  • MoMo3000

    Nobody says anything about my ring EVER. The only person that did (and I had it less then 2 weeks) sneered and told me “Oh, it looked bigger in pictures.” Two years later and happily married I can say I am still ashamed. Even worse, I picked it out and my husband refuses to upgrade, so I am stuck! Sorry if I seem like a spoiled brat :(.

    • Butt Babies

      You do. Also, you seem pretty insecure that a stupid comment from a shallow friend inspired that reaction. You SHOULD be ashamed — not of the ring, but of your attitude and choice in friends.

      • Venice Vienna

        “Butt Babies” is wrong. MoMo does NOT sound spoiled. There’s nothing wrong with a woman wanting a nice ring, and society needs to stop shaming women in this way. There’s a lot of taboo that surrounds wanting a nice, big ring. I think it’s partially in an effort to preserve the feelings of men who maybe can’t afford anything grand, or maybe it’s from jealous women who want their .5ct Z stones to look better. Not really sure but it has to stop. Let’s be honest– women want big rings like men want frivolous watches. No one shames men for being materialistic. A great engagement ring costs more than a car, but a car depreciates in value immediately and doesn’t last forever. A diamond does. If it’s acceptable to spend 50K on ONE DAY (the wedding,) it should be even more acceptable to spend twice that much on the ring she’ll have everyday. Don’t get me wrong–if the man can’t afford it, then that’s that. Not the end of the world, but don’t try to make those of us who CAN afford it feel “guilty” about it or ashamed of wanting it/wearing it.

        • Butt Babies

          Pathetic. She is not saying she would like a bigger ring, she is saying she is ASHAMED of the one her poor (literal or not) husband gave her. Having read both comments, you want to talk about offensive societal shaming and you direct it at ME?!? I guess I shouldn’t be so surprised. The gender stereotyping in your comment is pretty impressive. Anyone who claims they are ashamed by the lack of size or frivolous excess of a GIFT from their partner who is by all accounts not frivolous when it comes to things that actually have meaning (“I am happily married”), whether that gift be a watch or a ring should be ashamed of themselves. And the friend who made that comment to her? What decent friend would ever say such a thing? It’s hard to think of a more passive aggressively (jealous?) snide remark. Some friend. At least it sounds like they deserve each other.

        • James Kelly

          50-100k for an engagement ring, wedding day OR car is fucking obscene imo.

    • Ccleelee

      You don’t seem anything but human. I like honesty, especially when we can see our own insecurities. It means you are capable of growth.

  • Catharine

    My ring is over a carat and is E, IF. Its an Ascher cut that has a large table and it sits high in the setting, making it look even bigger. The setting has lots of small diamonds that make it really eye-catching. I was bartending at a nice restaurant with a pretty well off clientele when I got it. I constantly had my hand yanked over the bar and questions of it was real, was I sure, women who chuckled behind my back saying it was fake… My boss actually suggested we see if it would scratch glass just to be sure… Then questions about what my fiancé did, he’s an attorney, led to half joking accusations that I was a gold digger. I also went to law school, I just am not practicing while I wait to take the bar exam… But pretty girl bartender, it must be a fake stone to throw the creepers off, and I must be lying about the quality of the stone when directly asked, or I’m obviously dumb and just don’t know better- I dated a jeweler for years, I can spot color, cut, and clarity better then most pros… The number of nasty comments I got in the year we were engaged before our wedding were insane, including countless questions about how much it cost? And oh my god I can’t believe you’re wearing that and doing this? It was either followed by: if he can afford a ring like that you should be sitting at home, you don’t need to work, let him support you! Or, Omg aren’t you afraid you’ll break it, or lose it or something? Well seeing as I worked 60 hours a week, if I wasn’t wearing it there, it’d never leave a drawer… So many comments, to many to even list… Of and my ridiculous ring that even I think is a bit over the top, comments of oh that’s a nice starter ring…

  • Amanda Snyder

    I still remember having to chase my husband for my cloudia through the mall both of us dressed in our dress blues in 2008. We were married in 2009 with a Chaplin and two friends. My purple stone cloudia is perfect and my simple wedding band is even more perfect. We will be celebrating five years of marriage in march. I cant wait to see him again after six months soon. I love being a military wife. Not for the money but for having to re get to know each other after every deployment. I love how he loves me and God and our two sons.

  • windy lee

    wow. doesn’t anyone realize how worthless most diamonds are? two or three corporations in the world control the diamond market and set the prices. they are one of the most common stones out there. i wish people would become more educated. there are far more beautiful stones than a diamond.

  • Kali B.

    “Wow, that’s bigger than anything I ever expected YOU to get.”

  • ClothesAndStuff

    Mine is yellow gold w/ 3 green topaz with diamonds in between each. It’s a Victorian piece so it’s antique and I LOVE IT. Haven’t had any nasty comments…yet? :P

  • Aurelia Clarkson

    There are SO MANY reasons not to go with a diamond (no offense to anyone who has one, your ring your choice!) but blood diamonds kept off the market to make them seem rare? Pass. A single ad campaign started the craze. Since when did spending money you don’t have equal love? I hate the wedding industry, profiting from making couples start their lives together in debt trying to sell the wedding fantasy and ignoring the entire point of a wedding (it isn’t actually to impress your friends, but don’t tell TLC that).

  • nuviadiaz

    What about when they put their thumb over the center stone?? Thanks for putting your greasy finger print on my clean ass ring!

  • Mack_The_Nyfe

    I know this is a bit late, but if that’s your engagement in the picture then it’s positively stunning. It’s what an engagement ring should be. Simple, elegant and understated. Nothing beats a solitaire. Ever.

    To other commenters:

    If you’re one prone to want the attention a flashy ring gets then get a cocktail ring. They’re usually grossly gaudy enough to get you all sorts of attention and can be obscenely expensive. Engagement and wedding rings are meant to be symbolic of the love that exists between two people and if you’re going to hone in on the fact that the ring didn’t put your betrothed in the poor house, then you’re doing it wrong.

    Insofar as materialism goes, we all are to some degree or another, but that doesn’t make it right. And if you’re going to JUDGE your future husband by the size of ring he gets you to show that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you then I feel sorry for you and him and I’ll just yours is a union that won’t stand the test of time.

    In closing, if you’re the type to not have anything nice to say about someone or something, then keep your flappy trap shut as your opinion is neither needed nor wanted. The engagement ring isn’t around your finger, it isn’t your day and it isn’t your life either so keep your comments rattling around that otherwise empty head, lest there be nothing but a vast empty space.

    Good luck to you all!

    • James Kelly

      So much shade. Love it ;D

  • dcrawford

    I’ve gotten a few strange ones too, MOST from people at work.
    My wedding set has a center diamond w/halo & 64 rounds, T.C.W.= 2.

    From a 1st shift supervisor: “who loves you that much?”
    From a young guy going through a divorce: “That’s too big. I would never have bought my wife a ring that big.”
    From a 20 yr old who wants to propose to his girlfriend: “Oh, that little thing.. let me see it **then tries to slide it off my finger**”
    From a 40+ yr old guy who says he’s never getting married: well if he can afford a ring like that why are you working?
    From a girl who’s been engaged for a year but hasn’t gotten a ring yet so she bought a fashion ring and said: “see, this one is like the ring I picked out in Vegas. It’ll be 5 carats. How many is yours again?”
    From a girl who has a new boyfriend every 3 days: “Oh you must be pregnant.”
    AND THE BEST–
    From a close friend: “I can’t believe YOU got married before me. How did this happen?” .

    I mean… what makes people say stuff like that? I STILL don’t understand.

    • Mack_The_Nyfe

      Stupidity and piss poor upbringing. Case closed.

  • dcrawford

    and your ring is gorgeous! cleaning barely makes a difference until the plating wears off and then it’s not cleaning it’s PLATING. wth?

  • Annoyed Teacher

    I work as a high school teacher so to save face and avoid having petty parents claim that I am a “bad role model” for having a child out of wedlock, I wear a ring on my ring finger. Also, it is because I am extremely self conscious and insecure about the fact that I am in my 30s and never engaged nor married, with nothing but men treating me horribly and one being a complete and utter deadbeat dad. It is a beautiful ring that my best friend bought me, in one of my two favorite colors. Before that, I had a cubic zirconia ring I’d bought myself to use at work. I’d always feared people confronting me about my rings being fake or my “marriage” being fake, but I never had anyone say stuff to my face at least until today. A so-called “friend” coworker, who I work with frequently and on a specific work assignment, made some inappropriate comments that definitely pushed my buttons. He was writing up minutes for a meeting that me, him, and another teacher (who was not in the room at the time) had. He asked me if I should be addressed as “Ms.” or “Mrs.” in the report, then when I said it doesn’t matter but I prefer “Ms.” for addressing any female since it is ambiguous and not personal, he said in a hushed tone, “But you can’t go by Mrs. because you’re not married.” I said, “yeah I am” and flashed him my left hand. He says in a louder tone–while two students are in the room–”THAT’S NOT A WEDDING RING!”, implying that my ring was cheap and frivolous. I know that my story has nothing to do with a real engagement or a real ring, but I was deeply offended that he’d make a judgment call about such a personal matter out loud, and in front of students. This happened on the same day that I’ve been dealing with anger about the state not pursuing my child’s father for his unpaid child support too. It literally depressed me enough to keep me from getting through my paperwork for the next 2 hours, and I’m really behind in work too.

    • mereditor

      I’m so sorry this happened to you! His behavior is a poor reflection on him, not on you! He obviously has issues if he feels the need to call out other people on things that have nothing to do with him.

      • Annoyed Teacher

        Thanks for the support, but no actually I’m the one with the issues. This teacher is in his late 40s and has been married for 20 years already…he got married younger than the age I am now. He has two kids and is still married. Normally he is a personable, friendly person. Meanwhile, I am single and involuntarily celibate. I have HUGE self esteem issues about being single and never married in my 30s. I’ve been a total liar about my marriage status at work and outside work, to judgmental family members and stuff who I think wouldn’t find out the truth since they never bother to speak to me let alone ever see me. So um yeah I’m the one with issues (despite being a nice person) and I’m also the one who had to deal with ridicule.

        • Mack_The_Nyfe

          The only issues I observe are such:

          You allow perceived societal “norms” define who you are and what you’re worth. By that I mean you seem to place value on getting, or being married. I have a friend who happens to be a former teacher. She was a single mother, almost 30. She thought she needed to be married to, I dunno, I guess be normal. So she got married. A year later, divorced. That’s when she finally realized that marriage didn’t change anything in her life. It didn’t define who she is/was. It simply made his cheating harder to bear, and leaving his worthless ass more difficult.

          Do yourself a favor, and I’m being sincere and honest, cut judgemental people out of your life. They clearly aren’t worth anything to you if they can’t be genuinely supportive. Take assertiveness training courses and self-esteem classes. And, if necessary, and only you know for sure, seek counseling to deal with any underlying issues you may have, we all have some, there’s no shame in that.

          Being a teacher is incredibly hard work, but you need to realize what you had to do and persevere to get there to see that you’re worth more than you realize. You’re a strong, intelligent person that deserves respect and admiration. A relationship of any stage doesn’t define who you are, your actions do. If you want a relationship, go get one. Yes, it is that easy if you’re that desirous and determined.

          Good luck and take care!

  • jtb

    Have any of you thought to tell people to kiss your a$$? I remember my first engagement ring. Could barely see the diamond. People laughed and joked….Where’s the diamond? Didn’t matter to me, I loved and cherished that ring. It was the thought and love that mattered.

  • S.H.

    After seeing a picture of my my ring, my MOH said “Oh it looks smaller than I thought!” That’s it, no it’s pretty, etc.

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