An eye for an eye, a bachelorette party for a bachelorette party. My own celebration was pretty low-key, but goshdarn it, had we gone away, I’d sure as hell fly wherever a bridesmaid-turned-bride wanted me to travel to for hers. Of course, everyone’s on a different budget, but this particular bride doesn’t play by the rules in my opinion. You be the judge.
“Last year, my childhood best friend got married in her new home state across the country from where we grew up. I didn’t have to fly for her shower, but I did have to take a long, pricey flight to get to her wedding. For her bachelorette party, she wanted her bridesmaids to rent a house in the Hamptons in Long Island for a week in the summer. Even though I was able to drive here and save some money, the rental was a huge expense. I was in grad school and not working at the time, but I didn’t protest. I’d just have a little credit card debt and she’d do the same for me, I thought. And we all had a great time, so I looked at it as money well spent.
Now I’m engaged. Since she lives so far away from me and the rest of my bridesmaids, I thought it’d be easier if my shower and bachelorette were on the same day so she wouldn’t have to fly in twice for them, in addition to flying in for my wedding. But she told me not to be silly: ‘Of course I’d fly in for both! You’re going to be too exhausted after your shower to want to go out for your bachelorette party. They deserve their own separate celebration days.’ I polled the rest of my bridesmaids, and they were fine with breaking up the events into two days, so we did.
My sister sent out shower invitations, and my ‘friend’ said she couldn’t make it because of a work event she has to attend. It’s true: It’s her company’s main function of the year. I was confused why she didn’t check the date when my sister was planning the party–my friend’s been working there for many years–and speak up sooner (we would’ve changed the date for her!), but fine. At least she’d be there for my bachelorette party. A few weeks later, this friend tells me she can’t fly in for my bachelorette party. She said money’s just too tight for her right now and she’s already flying in for the wedding.
My feelings were hurt because I spent all that money on her when I had zero to my name. But maybe she and her husband were going through serious financial problems that I wasn’t privy to, so I told her I understood.
Next thing I know, she’s posting pictures on Facebook of her spontaneous romantic getaway to a high-end resort in Aspen. There are captions like ‘So expensive but so worth it!’ and ‘Best hotel room ever!” No wonder money’s tight–this vacation easily cost $5,000.
What kind of a person chooses an expensive location for her bachelorette party and lies about not being able to afford to go to her friend’s? I’m livid and would rather not speak to her anymore, let alone have her be a bridesmaid. I wouldn’t be surprised if she RSVPs no to my wedding because of her ‘money issues!’”
Would you be annoyed with a friend who cried poverty when it came to your wedding events–after convincing you to throw two separate parties–and then took a luxury vacation? Would you kick her out of your wedding party?
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Photo by Cris Valencia