3 Reasons Kate Middleton’s Pregnancy Will Be Worse Than Yours

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Kate MiddletonWhen my coworker told me that the Duchess of Cambridge was officially with child, I shrieked with excitement and immediately posted my most brilliant Facebook status ever: “royal baby royal baby royal baby.” Then, I put myself in Ms. Middleton’s very fancy shoes, and I felt sad for her.

First, the obvious reason. The mama-to-be supposedly has the worst case of morning sickness ever. Hyperemesis gravidarum, the pregnancy condition that few outside of the medical community had heard of, has kept Kate in hospital, as the Brits say. While I’m sure her digs are luxurious, fine linens and a lovely view can’t stop you from vomiting and worrying like crazy that your baby will suffer.

Next, the pressure to develop the perfect baby body. I’m convinced that Beyonce wore a fake belly during her pregnancy (remember those telltale images of a folded stomach while she filmed a TV segment?). That’s not to say I think that Blue Ivy isn’t her flesh and blood. It’s just that expecting moms don’t all grow round bumps. Since rumors were already abound that Jay Z’s main squeeze had hired a surrogate, Bey’s people likely thought it better that she sport a prosthetic tummy than go out in public not looking pregnant. If Kate’s midsection doesn’t morph into that ideal curve, she’ll either be forced to wear a similar piece (which actresses on the set of What to Expect When You’re Expecting told me make you very warm!) or remain inside the paparazzi-free palace walls at all time.

Lastly, she’ll likely have little say over her care and delivery. The gal got to make so few decisions for her wedding. And if gossip rags are to be believed, her own family couldn’t attend some wedding-related events because of their commoner status! Even if you too were pretty powerless during your own wedding planning, those making the decisions about your party probably wield no authority over your pregnancy choices. Not so with Kate. When you carry an heir to the throne, lots of people’s interests are at stake, and yours may be less important.

All that being said, I’m sure she’ll be on the best pain medication science has unearthed.

What are your thoughts on the royal pregnancy? Any gender or name predictions?

More About Having Babies
The One Thing You Must Do Before You Get Pregnant
The Best Before-a-Baby Advice I Never Got
Maybe to Baby: Lauren Realized She Was Less Not Ready for a Family

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Photo by Tom Soper Photography

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  • Natasha S

    I think the fake belly is a bit much… I don’t see that happening, but I agree on the other points. I also worry that she will miscarry. Imagine having to tell the whole world about that! I definitely don’t envy her.

    • mereditor

      Yes, miscarrying when the whole world knows you’re pregnant must make it even more painful. :(

  • Ivyrose325

    I would never wish hyperemesis on any woman. I had it when I was pregnant with my son, and in addition to having constant nausea the ensuing dehydration caused some very scary per-term contractions. The standard treatment, Zofran is not covered by many US insurers; leaving moms to pay upwards of $1500 a month for the prescription. At least the princess will receive state of the art medical care.

    • mereditor

      I’m so sorry you went through that. How awful that treatment is so costly.

  • Olivia Crossman

    Name predictions: Victoria (though I like something a little unique like Alice or Charlotte better) or Philip 

    • mereditor

      I could totally see Victoria or Phillip! Charlotte’s so pretty, but I bet they’ll stick to a traditionally royal name like the ones you mentioned (although maybe there’s a Charlotte royal I just don’t know about).