Since motherhood takes up all the time that my full-time job and sleep don’t, I’ve invited my super-talented sister, Gillian Bodgas, to enlighten us taken gals on what really irks the unattached. I’m keeping this list in mind because I’ve definitely broken a couple of these rules in the past. Read this and commit it to your own memory so you don’t make my mistakes. Take it away, Gill!
10 Things Every Single Girl Wishes She Could Tell Her Attached Friends
1. I don’t want to hear about him all the time. But I do want to hear about him sometimes! If your guy sends you an “adorable” text, I don’t give a fuck. If you had a really interesting date, I want to hear all about it!
2. Just because I’m single doesn’t mean I’m sad about it. You should be yourself around me. Don’t hide your happiness–ever. A friend would never expect that. Just don’t rub your relationship in my face. A friend wouldn’t do that either.
3. If someone makes you happy, I want to hang out with him! Just not all the time (see number one). There are appropriate settings. We’re all going out to a bar? Great, bring him along. We’re sitting on your couch watching the Kardashians? Dude does not need to be there.
4. If he’s not paying rent, he can’t live with us. He can stay over sometimes, but not every night. And if the two of you plan on “staying in bed,” do me a favor and make sure I’m not home.
5. If I don’t like him, I won’t always tell you. If I don’t like your guy for a small reason, like he’s boring or has a weird hairline, I promise to keep it to myself. If he’s a complete jerk, I will let you know about it and you shouldn’t be mad.
6. INTRODUCE ME TO HIS FRIENDS, DAMMIT. Being single and being sad don’t necessarily go hand in hand, but if you know I’m looking and he has cute, non-douche-y friends, hook me up!
7. If you have time for a boyfriend, you have time for your friends. There’s nothing worse than ignoring me for a boy. If you disappear for a few months, don’t expect me to be around if and when it ends.
8. If I’m talking to a guy don’t make yourself the center of attention. If you still want to fulfill your wing-woman duties, great! If a guy starts talking to me at a bar, don’t throw yourself into the conversation because you’re bored or want a free drink. Take a step back and remember how hard it is to meet people.
9. If I tell you something in confidence, don’t tell him. It’s cool if you guys share everything, but my stories are for your ears only. If homeboy asks me how I’m feeling after my UTI, I’m going to stop telling you things.
10. If you think I’m not on the boyfriend bandwagon, tell me! I might not be, but I will make more of an effort if you feel I’m not doing enough.
Photo by Pedro Ribeiro Simões