My pal who’s getting married e-mailed me to ask what he should do about the sticky situation a wedding guest unfairly put him in.
He invited a friend without a date. He and his groom are trying to keep the wedding intimate (as in, no guests they’ve never met before, a rule I should’ve followed), and this guest who was invited solo will know 80% of the other wedding guests in attendance. In fact, she’s technically married to one of them, though they’re not together anymore.
On her response card, she indicated that she’d be a party of two because she’d like to bring her new boyfriend, whom my friends haven’t met.
Faux pas #1: There are so few acceptable circumstances to ask to bring a guest when you’re not invited with one. This is not one of them.
Faux pas #2: If you really, really HAVE to ask, writing your request on a response card is not the way to do it. A question like that warrants a phone call.
As if that weren’t enough, she wrote that if my friends couldn’t afford to pay for her date, she could go solo.
Faux pas #3: Way to insult the grooms by assuming that the only reason she wouldn’t be able to bring a plus-one is because they’re destitute.
And faux pas #4: She didn’t even offer to pay for the guest she wants to bring.
My buddies didn’t know how to handle this–were they within their rights as the hosts to deny a guest her request to bring a date? And if so, what’s the best way to break the news? Should they justify their rationale?
Since she didn’t bother to make any personal contact with the grooms, I suggested they respond via e-mail or text with: “We’re sorry, but we’re keeping our wedding intimate. I’m so glad you’ll have (insert name of person she knows) and (insert name of person she knows) there” and leave it at that.
I get that it could be hard to face your ex at a wedding, but he wasn’t invited with a guest, either, so the playing field is level. Plus, they’ll have multiple friends around as buffers. She doesn’t need to rub her new beau in her estranged husband’s face.
I really hope the grooms introduce me to this girl with gall!
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