Why I’d Rather Kim Kardashian Have a Baby Out of Wedlock Than Get Married Again

I had lots of wishes for 2013: that there be an end to gun violence. That global warming slows down enough so countries stop melting. And that Kim Kardashian doesn’t get hitched again. Why do I care about that last one? A 72-day-long marriage makes the institution look like a bad joke. When I heard on the last day of 2012 (happy New Year, btw) that she was procreating with Kanye West, who by all accounts seems to be the world’s most conceited human being, my reaction was to shout “Nooooo” in slow motion, like a person just pushed from a building in a movie might. But I’m rethinking that response. Continue reading

This is What Snooki and Jionni’s Wedding Will Be Like

I’m not an expert in a lot of areas, but if there’s one subject I know a lot (probably too much) about, it’s Jersey weddings. Which is why I have a pretty good idea of how it’ll all go down when Jersey Shore’s Snooki and her fiance/baby-daddy-to-be Jionni get married. Continue reading

Is Open Marriage Still Marriage? Newt Gingrich Thinks So!

Presidential candidate Newt Gingrich speaks loudly about preserving family values. Quietly, though, he thinks his second wife should’ve “tolerated his affair” and agreed to an open marriage–or whatever one calls a marriage where the husband can have a mistress or two, according to CNN.com. This brings up the question: Is an open marriage a marriage at all? Continue reading

Mindy Kaling Isn’t Afraid to Admit She Wants to Get Married, and I Love Her for It

mindy kalingWanting a loving, long-lasting marriage doesn’t seem to be the thing to do in Hollywood anymore (if it ever was)–unless you’re Mindy Kaling, the hilarious actress/writer from The Office and the author of the book that thoroughly entertained me during my subway rides to and from work this past week. I already adored her, but her thoughts on marriage had me cheering on the train, much to other passengers’ dismay. Continue reading

Instead of Banning Gay Marriage, Why Don’t We Make These Other Kinds of Marriages Illegal?

With rumors floating about that Katy Perry and Russell Brand are headed to divorce court (or rather, a luxurious law office with a fancy mediator presiding over a granite tabletop), it got me thinking about marriage laws I’d like to see passed. If gay marriage is still unlawful in most states, then these forms of matrimony should be too. Continue reading